


West Mewnian Swamp Water

by Deus_Ex_Ash



Category: Star vs. The Forces Of Evil
Genre: Angst, Boss/Employee Relationship, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, M/M, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Pining Toffee, Slow Burn, Toffee Has Issues
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-19
Updated: 2017-05-03
Packaged: 2018-10-20 22:33:21
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,502
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10672128
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Deus_Ex_Ash/pseuds/Deus_Ex_Ash
Summary: Toffee had every intention of charming his way into the job. But with the realization that the job entailed stealing his enemy's most dangerous weapon... well that changed everything.





	1. Chapter 1

Toffee, bottle of alcohol already in hand, leant up against the stone wall of the hallway that had been converted to a waiting room. He hadn't responded to the job offer formally. That wasn't part of his plan. What his plan was, he didn't quite know yet but presenting a resume and cover letter was not part of it. He knew that much.

He heard a loud groan of what could only be interpreted as frustration and watched as a small bird like women walked out of the office. She looked annoyed.

Toffee followed her with his gaze as she walked down the hall and out of sight. He then looked around once more to make sure nobody was watching. Once he was sure that the coast was in fact clear. Toffee slipped inside the interview room.

The room was dimly lit, a rod-iron chandelier was hung over a large stone table. The monster that was most likely doing the interviewing looked almost identical to the monster he saw leaving earlier. He was sitting atop a stack of pillows, flanked on either side by guards. Neither of them seemed to have heard him enter the room. They were too busy listening to their employer bluster in rage.

He walked quietly along the walls, being mindful of both his noise level. The room itself seemed to be a repurposed study. Toffee slinked along the wall until he came to a small table tucked in the far corner. Toffee took out a small glass from his pocket and poured a drink. He then slipped out an eye wrapped in tinfoil from his other pocket and used it as a garnish. Alcohol was always a good way to earn trust and Toffee hoped now would not be an exception. 

Drink in hand, Toffee waited just inside the darkened corner. The guards were still distracted by their boss’s impotent shouting. Toffee waited for just the right moment to make himself known.

“These idiots are even dumber THAN YOU IDIOTS!”  Toffee heard the interviewer screech.

_ “Now!” _

In one fluid movement, To offer moved forward to slid the drink across the table. Too late did he realize that he'd used his.mutilated hand to do that.

Thankfully, his voice remained level as he spoke. “West Mewnian Swamp Water, or do you drink from the bottle.”

_ “Please don't notice! Please don't notice!” _

Thankfully, he didn't. The small monster took the glass gratefully, muttering “On days like this,” as he did so.

_ “Phew! Excellent, you've got his gratitude. Now try to relate to him.” _

“Tell me about it.” 

“Oh I'll tell you-” The other submerged his beak in the alcohol, only to pull it back out again. “I've been trying to steal a wand from a teenager.” again, he submerged his beak in the alcohol.

_ “Wait, he's trying to steal a wand?!?” _

“WAIT A SECOND!”  The small bird flung the half drunk glass across the table and Toffee flinched as it shattered. 

_ “That was perfectly good alcohol you just wasted you weirdo! “ _

“Where did you come from?” The monster pulled a small lever that raised up the pillow stack… somehow.

_ “Quick, think fast!” _

”I let myself in.”

“When?”

Toffee decides now was as good a time as any, he went for broke. “After you hired me.”

“I hired you?”

_ “Oh for Ecplissa’s sake, this is too easy!” _

Toffee smiled slightly. “I accept.”

As they'd been speaking, Toffee had discreetly reached into his pockets for the third time and quietly slipped his business card up his sleeve.

“Excellent!” His now official boss squeaked happily.

Toffee reached out to shake his employer's hand, who shook it happily. “We'll start tomorrow. Get some rest.”

Toffee slid his business card from out of his sleeve as he pulled his hand away. He left the castle without another word.

As soon as he was outside, Toffee made it a priority to find out who owned that castle. He asked the first monster he saw.

“Oh, that is Ludo’s castle. Yeah he’s kind of an-” 

Toffee stopped listening. He just kept walking and left the monster behind.

_ “So, Ludo, is trying to steal a wand… from a teenager. Well, considering the only being allowed a wand were the Butterflys. It was safe to assume Ludo meant The Royal Wand,. The one currently in the hands of the Princess Star Butterfly…” _

Toffee let a toothy grin overtake his face. “Oh, this changes everything!”

Toffee could already feel a plan begin to take shape.

 


	2. Chapter 2

Toffee reported to Ludo's Castle just before sunrise. He hadn't a clue how he was supposed to get inside the castle, but he was there nonetheless. Thankfully, the main gate had been left unlocked and the keys were still in the door.

_ “Note to self: suggest security overhall to Ludo.” _

Toffee slipped inside quietly. The castle was still dark and silent. It occurred to Toffee that perhaps he had come too early.

_ “Hmm… oh well.” _

Toffee strolled leisurely down the long halls and past the several high ceiling chambers. The castle had the feel of being very much lived in. Ii certainly smelled lived in. There were weapons on the floor that looked as though they had been hastily kicked aside and dirty clothes hung from the torch brackets.

Toffee walked through a high archway, that seemed to have been graffitied in obscenities, into a library. 

_ “Oh now we're talking.” _

Toffee began running his index finger along the spines of the books and he noticed with great horror that the books were completely out of order. He could almost feel the near compulsive urge to just scrap his entire day and reorganize the library.

“Yes, I am aware the books are out of order. Please don't remind me.” 

Toffee turned around to see Ludo leaning against the archway. 

“Oh good, it bothers you too.” Toffee muttered, relieved. 

“Yeah,” Ludo stood up to his meager height. “I've been meaning to come down here and tidy up but…” Ludo made a long expansive gesture at the disorganized shelves. 

“I can only imagine.” 

Toffee and Ludo just stared at each other for a few moments before Toffee coughed awkwardly. 

“So this might seem trivial,” Ludo ventured. “But how did you get in here again.” 

Toffee smiled and walked past Ludo, stopping just beside him to whisper, “You have a bit of a security problem.” before he continued walking.

_ “And that is how you mess with some heads.” _

Toffee could hear Ludo's tiny footsteps as he ran to keep up.

“What does that even mean?!?” Ludo squawked.

“Exactly what I told you. You have a security problem and a massive one at that.”

Toffee stopped when he felt tiny hands grab his pant leg and beat against him. 

“TELL ME!”  Ludo shouted.

_ “Well this is going to be fun. Isn't it?” _

Toffee smiled broadly, baring his long white teeth. “Your gate was unlocked and your keys were still in the door.” Toffee reached down and pryes Ludo’s tiny hands from his pants. He held them as he spoke. “If anyone were to wish you harm, they would have no problem penetrating these castle’s walls.” 

Toffee let go of Ludo's tiny hands, stood up to his full height, and continued walking. Again, he heard Ludo's tiny footsteps running to catch up.

_ “You never give up, do you?” _

They continued walking in silence. Toffee making careful note of the castle’s layout. Occasionally, Ludo would point out an interesting portrait or indicate an area of the castle as they passed it.

After several minutes of this, Toffee could hear the barest hint of loud music wafting through the air. The rancidness of it mixed harshly with the repulsive smell of monster, creating an auditory assault that rendered Toffee nearly immobile.

When they reached a door, Ludo stopped in front of him.

“What you are about to witness are creatures so abhorrent, so revolting, so utterly repugnant that no monster should ever be subjected to their presence.”

“Oh I highly doubt it.” Toffee deadpanned.

Ludo, who had been positively giddy with dramatic airs, deflated like a down covered balloon.

“Yeah… you're right.”

Ludo turned and opened the door. He and Toffee stepped inside.

The monsters were having a dance battle. 

Toffee could barely contain his laughter. They were having a dance battle! Ludo seemed to be having similar albrut grimmer thoughts.

Out of nowhere, a monster appeared beside Ludo. He gave a salute as he spoke. 

“Master, it is about the Princess. She believes her cookies can tell her fortune.” 

Toffee's mind jumped immediately to the masterclass of Mewman decadence, The Calzone That Can Predict Death. Truly, it was a mockery of magic. 

“Interrupting!” Ludo shouted. He gave Toffee an apologetic look. “Aren't my monsters just the worst or what?”

_ “Yes.” _

Toffee looked at the pitiful display before him, then looked down at the tiny monster looking up at him. “Perhaps we could do something with those… fortune cookies.”

Toffee put his mutilated hand to his mouth as he began to think. 

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry I haven't written more but I've been incredibly busy with school. Please forgive me.

**Author's Note:**

> I realized that Ludoffee doesn't have it's big long slow burn fic yet... welp here you go!   
> This chapter has not been beta-ed. Feel free to knit-pick my spelling. Thank you.


End file.
